The Hardest Thing
by Dreaming Pup
Summary: [yaoi, 1x2, 1xR, 2x?] Heero confronts an obvious problem in his relationship with Duo: that he's with someone else. As we all know, breaking up with someone you love is always the hardest thing. Then again, being dumped by someone you love can be more pai


Title: The Hardest Thing  
  
By: Kai Narakumi  
  
Rating: R  
  
Pairings - 1 x 2, 1 x R, 2 x ?  
  
WARNING: Yeah, I pull some Duo strings. Sorry, Duo fans. The song stuck, and it just went right. Strangely, and sorrowfully, due to Heero and Duo's not-so-stable relationship. Read on, but beware.  
  
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Excited violet eyes scanned the rowdy nightclub for any familiar faces. There were dozens he recognized there, some old lovers, some old friends, some old enemies. He ignored most, smiled at some, winked at a few, and even blew a kiss at one. However, he could not find the one face he longed for, the body he lusted after, the smile he dreamt of, the aura he fantasized of. The enthusiastic colors of the club were welcome in his mentality; he sought flavor in his life. Years of war, hatred, and suffering had nailed him more than once to the cross. He wanted freedom and he wanted it now. Just as he was becoming anxious, cobalt eyes met his own eager ones.  
  
We both know that I shouldn't be here  
  
This is wrong  
  
And baby it's killing me, it's killing you  
  
The muscular body of his lust strolled through the crowd, never losing eye contact with him. He wore seductive attire fit for a sadist, not an ex- pilot. Yet he wore it, and he wore it well. Many more than those violet eyes were staring at him and even more than that lusted after him. Those violet eyes were dripping with love by the time their lover arrived at the corner table of the nightclub. The cobalts regarded the violets kindly but more stiffly than before. "Duo."  
  
Both of us trying to be strong  
  
I've got somewhere else to be  
  
Promises to keep  
  
The braided young man tilted his head to the side at the formal tone. His violet eyes were curious, concerned, and a bit worried. This sounded like the Heero from the war, not in the Golden Age that was occurring. Duo found himself fiddling with the end of his braid before he even realized it.  
  
// Oh, God, what's wrong now? What did I do wrong? Wonder if his bite got infected or something... Well, I didn't bite that hard... It shouldn't have... So what's wrong then...?//  
  
Someone else who loves me  
  
And trusts me fast asleep  
  
Heero gazed impassively into the eyes of his oblivious lover. Such sweet beauty and dark elegance was harbored there. He swiftly hid a shiver that graced his body. Being around Duo was like a drug, a habit, one that gave him pleasure, one he was addicted to.  
  
But that had to stop.  
  
It had to stop now.  
  
//I don't want it to stop...! God, I don't want to ever stop with him! I want him now, just when I'm about to.//  
  
I've made up my mind  
  
There is no turning back  
  
She's been good to me  
  
And she deserves better than that  
  
The curious, concerned voice of Duo broke Heero's erratic thoughts. The cobalt eyes stared deeply, darkly, into the violets. The braided youth realized there was no emotion in them... and he winced immediately. His hands dropped to his legs and curled into painfully tight balls, knuckles going white. Unshed tears brimmed in Duo's eyes and he forced a mocking smile, cheerfully meeting Heero's unrelenting gaze.  
  
"Ah, finally deciding to give me up for her, aren't you? That's fine, it's not like I need you, I have others who are more than willing to..."  
  
Abruptly Duo choked up and buried his face in his hands, almost being hit by his abandoned silver cross. He attempted to breathe as he wept but failed, intaking huge amounts of air whenever possible. The pain in his chest increased gradually and never seemed to have a peak. It was just a ruined, lonesome mountain with too much time to crumble.  
  
Heero watched patiently from across the table, cobalt eyes revealing nothing.  
  
It's the hardest thing I'll ever have to do  
  
To look you in the eye & tell you I don't love you  
  
It's the hardest thing I'll ever have to lie  
  
To show no emotion when you start to cry,  
  
Inside his perfect, military mind, Heero was crying.  
  
Yes, tears were being shed at an abnormal rate. He couldn't help but put up a façade to protect Duo, but he knew that he, too, wept along side his lover. He just couldn't stand to rush between the two people who were so important to him. It would be similar to be assigned too many missions at once, Heero had decided one day, and he could only do so many jobs at a time.  
  
Relena was the most fragile person when it came to emotions. If she ever battled with her emotions, her opponent would have won doubtlessly. Relena would have disgraced herself by having a nervous breakdown in the middle of the fight. She was delicate, like crystal china, and she could crack at the simplest word, gesture, or action. She was not one to stand up against angry passion or unexpected rejections. It just wasn't in her character anymore.  
  
She just wouldn't have been able to revive herself after Heero left her. He knew that, she knew that. So, he just couldn't leave her. //She would ruin the whole fucking world,// Heero determined. She'd probably go Zero and destroy the world with Zecks laughing bitterly all the way.  
  
And Heero couldn't have that.  
  
I can't let you see what you mean to me  
  
When my hands are tied & my heart's not free  
  
We're not meant to be  
  
It's the hardest thing I'll ever have to do  
  
To turn around & walk away pretending I don't love you  
  
Duo was just beginning to control his sobs as he heard heavy steps outside the booth. He slowly, awkwardly, looked upwards towards his ex-lover. Streaks of translucent tears swept down his eloquent face in cascades. The most offended, desperate amethyst eyes yearned to see Heero leave him alone. The trembling frame of his body neither stopped nor hesitated Duo as he reached into his pocket.  
  
Heero paused in his gradual, dark departure. In his mind, he could see his real self, broken, lying on the floor, wondering why this all was happening. Soft whispers of Duo's name echoed his mind. He shook his head slightly, so almost no one could notice, and stared, reluctantly so, impassively down at his braided partner.  
  
He was greeted with a slender, shaking hand and a long, silver chain. He blinked and lightly squinted in the heavy neon lights. //I gave that to him. what? Three years ago? When the conflict ended?// His thoughts went silent and his interpersonal self went crying into the shadows. //All is damned.//  
  
Heero could barely further ignore the most upsetting sight in his life - his beautiful lover angry, upset, and crying all due to him with nothing he could do to change anything. Instead, he quickly took the silver chain from Duo's hand and went to turn away.  
  
//We are damned.//  
  
I know that we'll meet again  
  
Fate has a place and time (place and time)  
  
So you can get on with your life (get on with your life)  
  
I've got to be cruel to be kind (to be kind)  
  
Like Dr. Zhivago  
  
All my love I'll be sending (yeah)  
  
And you will never know (oh, oh)  
  
Cuz there can be no happy ending  
  
"You're a fucking BITCH, Yuy! You hear me?!"  
  
Heero jerked to a stop as he heard the jagged, hoarse words flung at him. Something deep inside him broke then, something he had hoped would have stayed in one piece his whole life. Yet its shattered pieces lay within his heart. He could nothing to stop it.  
  
"You asshole! You worthless fuck! How could you, how could you?! She's better in bed, or something, or what?! She's paying you, isn't she?! I'll KILL you, you HEAR ME?!"  
  
Duo released his restrained temper in one furious blow. He could not take something like this, he just couldn't. He caught hold of his breathing and swiped the streams of tears away with a gloved hand. He jumped out of his booth and bolted towards Heero, all the way screaming obscenities.  
  
He was met with a Kobra Carry 9001 to his head.  
  
He fell then, splattered on the floor. Not wounded by an imperial bullet but by an unspoken threat, a break of anything any of the pilots ever stood for, especially for that particular pair.  
  
He could barely hear Heero's emotionless voice speak to him from some condescending point far above him, floating in the bright neon lights of the club.  
  
"Do not ever threaten either Relena or myself."  
  
And that is when Heero Yuy, the Perfect Soldier, walked away to his fiancée, Relena Peacecraft, the near Queen of the World, leaving a somber, grave-faced Duo Maxwell lying on the dance floor.  
  
//I am damned.//  
  
It's the hardest thing I'll ever have to do  
  
To look you in the eye & tell you I don't love you  
  
It's the hardest thing I'll ever have to lie  
  
To show no emotion when you start to cry,(start to cry)  
  
As he got into their shared bed that night, Duo did not hear the familiar, soft voice as it addressed him. He peered forlornly elsewhere when he struggled into the constricting sheets. He wrestled angrily with his pillow for a few minutes before finally letting out a suppressed, heartfelt sob. The voice said nothing in response to the outburts but the queen bed did shift a bit as somebody moved.  
  
"He broke up with you," the sincere, however brutal voice stated.  
  
Duo muffled his affirmation with the pillow and sobbed into the poor satin thing. He only stopped when a tender hand laid itself on his bareback. It traced an oddly shaped pattern of slashes and lines and lasted for a few minutes. Duo slowed his breathing considerably and sighed deeply into his pillow, guilt shouldering him angrily.  
  
"I'm sorry," he quietly relinquished. His guilt bore down on him the same time despair did, and, even with the gentle hand soothing him, he cried out again.  
  
A soft, yet strong hand turned his face to face that of his bedmate. Duo's eyes widened with sorrow and pain as he saw the sympathetic, yet hurt expression meeting him. The voice slowly replied, peering into Duo's soul with devotion written clearly within his eyes, "So neither of us received justice. Life doesn't stop unless you let it."  
  
Duo paused for a moment, renewed tears of the guilty kind, before he launched himself into the other man's awaiting arms. He silently wept into those open arms until he finally kissed his lover's quivering neck. The body moved easily under him and powerful, passionate arms wrapped around his waist. Duo could not help but sob again, speaking words all too true and clear.  
  
"One day, I hope you forgive me, Wufei."  
  
I can't let you see what you mean to me  
  
When my hands are tied & my heart's not free  
  
We're not meant to be  
  
It's the hardest thing I'll ever have to do  
  
To turn around & walk away pretending I don't love you  
  
_______________________________________________  
  
OWARI.  
  
~blinks~  
  
Um. Sorry. Poor Heero. Poor Duo. Poor Wufei. Poor world.  
  
Duo fans, I am sorry. Wu fans, I am sorry. Heero fans, I am sorry. Relena fans, I am sorry.  
  
Hope ya liked the twist. I did.  
  
Very interesting writing these pairings.  
  
Guess ya never thought that could happen, hm?  
  
So you think I should do a sequel, yes, no, maybe?  
  
Review, my friend. Constructive Criticism only. Flames are not welcome. I have a fire tessan at home. I will use it to smite thou down.  
  
Sorry if this sucked. Huh.  
  
The Friendly Freak, Kai 


End file.
